What we focus on grows. So we need to notice what we’re focusing on. That…
Fear Free in 4 Steps
Fear is born to protect us. Pain, phobia, anxiety are all fear-based mechanisms designed to keep us safe.
We need to listen to these “warning mechanisms”, appreciate them and then take charge of them – or else they can take charge of us, disabling us rather than enabling us. Here’s how …..
If you put your hand on a hot plate, you would automatically withdraw through a pain response designed perfectly to stop you getting burnt. Isn’t the body a wonderful thing? We need physical pain in oder to stay safe physically, and to protect our bodies from harm.
In the same way, we feel sick to the stomach, sad, or distressed perhaps, when we experience something unhealthy, upsetting or unsettling. In the same way that we need physical pain as a protective barrier to harm, we need emotional pain in order to stay safe emotionally – to protect our hearts and minds from harm or suffering.
So it’s important and empowering to see any pain or distress as a valuable protective or warning mechanism. Whether it be physical or emotional, pain is basically our friend and guide: a temporary wake up call, or a purposeful healthy directive if you like. This way, we are able to take heed, and be grateful, for this wonderful elemental safeguard.
The problem occurs when instead of seeing pain as a wardenship, of which we are in charge, we see it as its own lifeforce, or entitiy. Then we give it power over us. So instead of it being able to guard, protect and enable us, we allow it to expose, weaken or disable us.
We begin to fear the pain itself, and that means instead of the pain preserving us which is its intent, we misguidedly use it to conquer, contort and warp us. We develop fear of the protection mechanism itself, rather than the empowerment and protection that was intended. This fear can then manifest itself in many forms of anxiety including what we call phobias, fears of specific things, social anxiety, general anxiety, many types of insecurity and even physical pain and symptoms such as nail biting, stuttering and other unwanted “habits”.
Therefore the first step to conquering fear is to simply value and acknowledge it for what it is
Whether it be physical or emotional, pain is basically our friend and guide:
a temporary wake up call, or a purposeful healthy directive.
Once you realize the intent of your fear is a protection mechanism, you can consider what this fear was trying to safeguard you from. For example, your fear of social situations may stem from an attempt to protect you from an old past humiliation or embarrassment – maybe you were bullied or felt socially exposed in some way years ago. You can choose to look at, and rationalize this fear acknowledging its good intent while also recognizing you are no longer a child – you are now able to choose who you hang out with. Therefore, this fear is no longer relevant. All kinds of behaviour such as nail biting, compulsive worrying and even excessive drinking could be an anxiety-driven, fear-driven irrational responses to deal with an old, obsolete fear.
Simply seeing the source and reason for your fear allows you to step into the learning, and out of the fear response. Have you learned something of value from the fear? If so, take on the learning, and let go of the fear.
Simply seeing the source and reason for your fear allows you to step into the learning, and out of the fear response.
With the learning now in place, the fear, pain or anxiety has served its purpose. You can now gratefully let it go.
The bottom line is:
- You are in charge of your pain, fears and anxiety. They are NOT in charge of you.
- You can control your pain – how much of it you feel, and how strong it is.
- You can choose what fears you take on, keep and live with.
- You can turn down, on or off, your pain, fear and anxiety.
- There is no stranger in the sky dictating your thinking – you choose your thoughts.
- What you choose to focus on grows.
- Your focus grows who you become.
You are in charge of your pain, fears and anxieties. They are NOT in charge of you.
Release unconscious blocks if necessary
Sometimes we decide we are well and truly ready to release our fears, anxiety-driven behaviours or phobias, but no matter how hard we try they just don’t seem to budge.
Well this is because we’ve actually been doing this thinking or behavior, habitually, for so long that we’ve created a deeply entrenched neurological pathway in the brain.
If you think of the bush, we will always take the well-worn path – even if it leads us off the edge of a cliff. The brain automatically does the same thing. It both consciously and unconsciously responds to triggers, and takes us down that familiar pathway – which could be destructive.
This can be very difficult to change without the support of someone who specializes in generating conscious/unconscious congruence or agreement, and helping the brain trigger new, healthy and empowering neurological pathways.
If you’re struggling to shift unwanted habitual behavior, realize this is normal. It’s not something you have been taught to overcome. However, it’s an easy process to change, and can happen very fast. If you get stuck, wanting to change but feeling stuck, seek the support of a government accredited Clinical Hypnotherapist, or other unconscious therapist.
Provided you are 100% committed and determined to resolve the issue, you will often be free of your fear, pain and any associated limiting behavior or beliefs in as little as 3 weeks.
It takes just 3 weeks to install a new neurological pathway, and then you consciously forget the old one.
You forget you ever had it – you can barely remember it was ever there!
Lyn Megan Macpherson (M.A., M.Ed., Dip.Clin.Hyp., Dip.NLP) is a Double Masters qualified, award winning, Government Accredited Clinical Hypnotherapist, NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) Practitioner, Social Ecologist, Transformative Psychotherapist and author.
Lyn has researched and practiced revolutionary ways to overcome fears, anxieties, and all forms of destructive patterns of thinking and behaviour in order to generate long-term, natural and transformative change. She specialises in empowering young people with anxiety to calmly take control of their lives to confidently create their ultimate future. Lyn lives on the Northern Beaches with her husband and two teenage daughters. Please visit the HARMONY SOLUTIONS AND HYPNOTHERAPY WEBSITE HERE.
Disclaimer. Lyn Megan Macpherson is not a medical doctor, psychologist or psychiatrist, and does not claim to be one. She therefore holds no legal liability for the choices of readers who are encouraged to make informed decisions and seek medical advice if required.